Rima Suqi

Yesterday, I hauled myself out of bed at an obscenely early (for me) hour to have breakfast with a friend at Florent. [BTW, if you want to go to Florent before it closes on Sunday, breakfast is a good time to go - lots of tables open] My official good-bye. I ate eggs, I bought the tee-shirt, I felt very sentimental and teary as I left. The closing of Florent, to me, is the end of an era in ways much bigger than just the restaurant signified. Whatever.

Later in the day I read this on Eater, via Curbed.

MEATPACKING DISTRICT— Though the MePa institution Florent will close this Sunday night, landlord Joanne Lucas has confirmed that she will reopen the space as R & L Restaurant, the restaurant that preceded Florent, just two days later. Lucas tells us that she initially shopped around the lease to a couple of retailers and eventually changed her mind: “We thought about having someone lease it but then I decided to just take it over myself. It used to be my father’s diner before it was Florent.”

And get this: she will be keeping pretty much the same menu as Florent and will keep on all the staff members that still work there. When asked why Florent isn’t involved in the new evolution she responded, “Florent from what I understand is moving on to a new chapter in his life.” Many will see this as a happy ending for the Florent saga. He may be gone, but the space will remain unchanged. Yet you still have to admit this was a clever move on Lucas’ part, a way to rake in the revenue from an established restaurant at a time when even retailers aren’t willing to pay the rent she was reportedly asking. This could be a temporary solution while she waits for a tenant.

I’m a bit speechless so I’ll just leave it at that.

Any woman who has tried to find board shorts will find herself on the short end of the style stick. Literally. Womens styles today are all Daisy Dukes, super short, showing lots of ass and, worse yet, pink. Lots and lots of pink. Please. Anyone seriously (or even not-so-seriously) into water sports needs something of a more practical length which is shockingly hard to find. I couldn’t find normal length, not pink, board shorts on the big island of Hawaii or in Costa Rica. Even my sports-gear-writer-friends suggested I buy men’s styles instead. No thank you.
Last week I found the answer to my board shorts prayers. It’s called Carve Designs.
They have not one, but FIVE women’s board short styles, with inseams ranging from 6″ – 14″ and colors that include olive green and – thank you god! – black. They have an online shop with all styles shown here.
A few pics below:

Being a PR person isn’t easy on an average day, but must really suck on a day like today when your client has you send out a release like the one I just received. Excerpts are below with commentary. I must emphasize that this is not a joke…it is a for-real, please-write-about-this pitch.

Marco Island Marriott Beach Resort Re-Launches Fertile Turtle Package

Available During Sea Turtle Mating Season Only; Resort Entices Couples to Conceive while
Package Proceeds Benefit the Conservancy of Southwest Florida

Marco Island, FL – June 16, 2008 – Due to the popularity of the 2007 program, Marco Island Marriott Beach Resort is happy to reintroduce the Fertile Turtle package which entices couples to conceive while on vacation. As sea turtles are known as a symbol of fertility,* lovebirds have the opportunity to watch sea turtles eggs hatch, right on the resort’s very own three-mile stretch of beach, while trying to fertilize an egg of their own.

Is it just me or is this one of the most ridiculous things ever? Granted, I’ve never spent months trying to get pregnant and while I am sure some people get very frustrated and yes, even desperate to conceive, I can’t imagine that watching a turtle peck its way out of its shell will somehow make human eggs more receptive or sperm swim faster. Or inspire anyone to want to get down and dirty in the first place.

But what do I know? Try it yourself. Check out the picture below:

Doing anything for ya? Nope? How about this one?

Still nothing? Maybe a little turtle porn will do the trick:

It’s just not working. I don’t know about you, but all this imagery makes me want to crawl back in my proverbial shell for the foreseeable future.

I was in Steven Alan recently and saw a girl wearing these Worishofer orthopedic shoes.

They’re definitely of the ugly-cute variety favored (I’m guessing) by nurses. A few days later I saw a girl on the street wearing the same shoes, same color. And I became semi-obsessed.

Now, the background is that as a kid, I was very into shoes. And there was a store in our neighborhood called Salamander that sold these and other German-made footwear, all fairly unattractive. When I would call them ugly, my mother would say that when she lived in Germany she walked a lot and that people who walk a lot love shoes like this. I swore then I would never love shoes like this.

This past weekend I was in Chicago, went to Salamander, and bought the shoes (just $59!). My mom, to her credit, said nothing. She just gave me that “I told you so” look.

The lesson here – isn’t it always – is “never say never.”

Last week a friend sent over a book I had heard about but never read called Bringing Home the Birkin, by Michael Tonello.

In it we learn how Mr. Tonello uncovered the secret to walking into an Hermes store and walking out with a highly coveted and highly expensive Birkin bag. That’s right – buy it today, wear it tonite. No lines, no wait lists, no joke.
Needless to say, it is a highly entertaining read and unfortunately, now that Tonello has enlightened us, the method will probably never work again. Then again, it can’t hurt to try. All you need is thousands of dollars and a dream. Buy it here.

First, a word to the ladies who might be reading this. There is one slam-dunk gift for your husband, boyfriend, partner, etc. that you can give, and it won’t cost you one cent.

That gift is a blow job.

Now, if you are concerned about your technique or lack thereof, you are in luck. Toys in Babeland has scheduled The Art of the Blowjob class for next Sunday,

Father’s Day, June 15th at 8 pm. I’m sure he’ll be willing to watch the kids while you go to school, provided you do your homework upon your return.

The only potential drawback to the Babeland classes is that they are co-ed, which makes some uncomfortable. In that case, get your best gay husband to enlighten you over drinks. Plural.

Another option is to buy the Kiki de Montparnasse eye mask shown below:

It says “sleep” on one side and “fuck” on the other. Genius gift that sends a direct message. $75 and, depending on your mood, truly priceless.

The other gift suggestions are not nearly as exciting (in my opinion) but do come from my random survey of actual Dads. In no particular order they are:

Sundek swim trunks. Retro, super cool, great colors. $125 at Saks

DVDs – two that came up were

The Best of Chappelle’s Show – Uncensored, $10.49 at Amazon

Rescue Me – the Complete Fourth Season. This is a new release and, frankly, a gift to you as well as him. I don’t find it that hard to watch Dennis Leary in this role. $32.99 at Amazon

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An afternoon of grooming. One of my favorite places to suggest for this is John Allan’s–there are several locations but the one downtown on Trinity Place is by far the best. It’s a very masculine environment complete with a pool table and a drum set. And no girls are allowed except the ones who work there. For $65 you can get him what they call the Full Service which includes Scalp Massaging Shampoo, Conditioning Treatment, Hot Towel, Haircut, Manicure, Shoeshine and Beverage (usually a beer but they do have special nights featuring whiskeys or gin or whatever).
Note: they do not do shaves here.

To give your man a proper shave – and every guy I know loves this as a gift – there are a few choices. One is the obvious Art of Shaving, where $55 gets him a Royal Shave.

A newer, groovier option is at Dickson Hairshop on the Lower East Side. Book a shave with Severin. Yes, he looks like he’s 12 years old but he is very serious about the art of Barbering and especially the shave. The shop is small – just two chairs – but we hear the clientele is VERY interesting. You never know who you’ll see here.

Here’s one shocker from my survey – several guys wanted Paul Smith socks. They run about $35 a pair on the Paul Smith shopping site. Some examples below:

Personally, I say forget the socks and go for a six pack. Not beer, wine. Vino (the wine store affiliated with I Trulli) sells some killer six packs of wines from various regions of Italy. Owner Nicola Marzovilla knows everything and can break it down in a language you will understand.

A digital camera – not a huge surprise. I really like the latest from Canon – the Powershot G9. It’s a point and shoot that acts like an SLR allowing you to set exposure time, etc. without having to go through gazillions of menus. I’ve played around with it. It’s very simple, very awesome. I want one. About $480 at B & H.

Believe it or not, several guys mentioned an espresso machine. I’m going to give two options that I like. One is for the scientist type who likes to tinker. The other is for the guy who wants the machine to do just about everything.

For the scientist type – the La Pavoni. I love the way this looks and fans love the espresso it makes. It is not cheap. A good selection can be found on the online Pavoni Shop.

On the automatic front, I’ve gotten great feedback on this one by Breville:
It’s about half the cost of the La Pavoni but still not cheap.

The super-cheap espresso machines are the metal ones you put directly on the stovetop. I’ve had zero luck with these, and am told by my Italian friends you have to use them for months before the metal taste goes away. Months? No thanks.

For the guy who wants an internet radio, the newest is from Tivoli Audio.

It’s called Networks and it does everything a normal clock radio does, but it also happens to access thousands of radio stations world wide. For free. All you need is wifi. And $600. (You can also plug in your mp3 player or stream music from your computer).

Items I’m not going to show but came up pretty often are the Mac Air, the iPhone, a flat screen TV, jeans that fit (good luck with that one), sneakers, scotch and Grand Theft Auto 4 (not kidding). Boys will be boys, after all.

I realize some of the suggestions are a bit pricey. So use them as suggestions, research the category you like and find a cheaper option.

Or just go with the blow job. That will nail it every time.

From Minneapolis, taken at the Trader Joe’s store in St. Louis Park. You gotta admit, they know their audience.