My new favorite reading material is the “gifts” section of the Moss website.  Example:

JUNE GIFTS
Well, really, what can GIFTS say? Gay Pride Month AND National Fresh Fruit Month? Hello? Who’s in charge of June themes? The producers of Glee? In any case, in our excitement, let us not overlook the excellent National Accordian Awareness Month. Admittedly, GIFTS is less in love with National Adopt a Cat Month, and Dairy Month is sort of a snore, but it would be unseemly to complain when June is truly busting with otherwise glorious monthly themes. And when you take a gander at June holidays, my dear, you will need to sit down and have yourself a cocktail. Are you ready? And remember, these are just the super good ones.

1 Flip a Coin Day
2 National Bubba Day
3 National Doughnut Day
4 Old Maid’s Day
6 National Yo-Yo Day
7 National Chocolate Ice Cream Day
9 Donald Duck Day
10 Iced Tea Day
18 Go Fishing Day
18 International Panic Day
23 National Columnists Day
23 National Pink Day
25 National Catfish Day
27 Sun Glasses Day
29 Waffle Iron Day

International Panic Day? Did the Monthly Themes Planning Committee suddenly go all ironic? Doesn’t matter. GIFTS is here to celebrate the gays, wash some fruit and, if your particular international panic has to do with gift giving, we are here at the Moss-Bat-Phone ready to talk you down from your emergency. We may not have waffle irons, but we have do gifts from Belgium. That must count for something.